Jasper
by missbuffy67
Summary: Jasper's thoughts when Edward brings Bella to the house the fist time. Just an exorcise, really. First post. Rated M cuz I'm paranoid.


**A/N: This is the first thing I posted here. It's just a little exorcise I did to get into Jasper's head. Please let me know what you think. I would appreciate any constructive criticism. **

Edward has a pet. _Isn't that sweet?_

Ok, I know, that was harsh, but, seriously! A human?

It's hard enough spending all day at school around them. Now he wants us to "hang out" with one after hours? What could he possibly be thinking?

Is he even thinking? Yes. He is. But _NOT _with his brain. He's thinking with his thirst. That and the most underused part of his male anatomy. And when you combine those two hungers......well..... Let's just say that I don't see how it could possibly end well.

I wonder how long it will take him to fuck this up? It's only a matter of time before he gives in to his lust, either blood or carnal. Either he'll lose it and drain her in the car on the way to school or, she'll have an erotic dream while he's watching her sleep and he'll lose it and jump her, killing her in the process.

A fragile human is _not_ a good choice for relieving the pent up sexual frustrations of a one-hundred plus -year-old _VIRGIN _vampire trapped in a seventeen-year-old horn-dog's body. He really should have taken Tanya up on one of the hundreds of offers she made to "make a man out of him". Granted, she's kinda skanky. Ok, so she's pretty much a doorknob. Everybody gets a turn. Still, she'd do to relieve some of his "pressure". At least vampires can't carry STDs. So, ok, maybe Tanya isn't the best idea.

But, hell, there are lost of available, vampire chicks out there who aren't succubi sluts. And every time we run into one, they always notice Edward. I can understand that. I'm secure enough in my manhood to admit that he is a good looking guy. Even without the vampire charms. He acts all shy and quiet around them. And he's so damn polite and proper. Girls eat that shit up, too.

There have been a couple of them that he's actually been attracted to, physically. Believe me, I can tell. But he never follows through. They'll flirt with him a little and he flirts back. Then.... nothing. I used to wonder if maybe he was.....you know....... batting for the other team? Same-sex oriented? Now I think he's kinda like a dog that chases cars. Wouldn't know what to do with one if he caught it. He's got the skills to get in the game but, no clue how to score.

Shit. I can hear his car coming. He just turned off the main road. Wow! The frustration he's putting off hit me from more than half way down the driveway. He's killing me! He really, _REALLY _need to get laid! I _need_ for him to get laid! _FUCK! _If this gets any worse, I'm gonna start humping the arm of the couch. I really don't want to do that.

Oh, damn. He brought _her_. I can smell her as she's getting out of the car. _Ahhhhh! She does smell good, though. _Definitely better than any of the other girls at school. Come to think of it, she probably smells better than any other human I've met. Hmm. That thought hadn't occurred to me before. Whoops! Mind reader on the premises. Time to start reciting Homer's Iliad (in Japanese, of course) to keep him out of my head.

Ha ha! The look on Edwards face is priceless! He looks happy, hungry, horny and scared shitless all at the same time. And he feels just like he looks.

She's feeling kinda nervous. But she's not scared. _Interesting_. Maybe I should mellow the mood a bit, just to make her more comfortable. Gotta admit, she's got balls. Walking into a house full of vampires takes more than a bit of intestinal fortitude.

He's bringing her over. Time for introductions.

"Hi, Edward. How's it goin'?"

"Fine, Jasper. I brought Bella over."

_No shit, Sherlock._ "I can see that. Hello, Bella. It's nice to see you again." Wow, she's really nervous. I'll just send her a little calm. There, much better. She has very pretty eyes when she's not staring at the floor.

"Hello, Jasper. It's nice to see you, too."

She smiled at me. A real, honest-to-goodness smile. God help me, I liked it.

Great, here comes the rest of the herd. Time to play "Let's Bond With Bella."

Well, this isn't too bad. As long as I keep the mellow mood going for everyone, the conversation is flowing rather nicely. Of course Rose is still being a semi-hostile bitch, but at least she's keeping most of her snarky comments out of Bella's hearing range.

I think Emmett is trying to break some sort of record for how many times he can make Bella blush in ten minutes. At least his jokes and teasing help me to keep everyone's mood light. Except for Rose and Edward. Edward keeps shooting daggers out of his eye's at Emmett.

Alice is, of course, bouncing off the walls like a sugared up six-year-old. She really likes this little human.

And the more I think about it, the more I like her, too. Maybe it's because she's brought Edward out of his EMO black hole. Maybe it's because she's not backed down from Rosalie. Maybe it's because she's taken all of Emmett's shit and given some back to him. Maybe it's because she's excited the little pixie so much she'd wet herself if that were possible. Maybe it's because she figured out our secret on her own. Maybe it's because she waltzed into a house full of vampires with no fear and total acceptance.

No, it's because she smiled at me.

I think I'm gonna enjoy getting to know this girl.


End file.
